NMW

T-minus 29 days. You know, when you’ve gone over 30 years of your adult life seemingly watching everyone around you get married, you get to a point when you genuinely think it’s not going to happen for you.

Three years ago last month, I met the woman who instantly and permanently changed my life. Somehow, I knew right away that my life was going to change. In October of 2013, a mere two months after discovering one another, I wrote a series of posts about what God was doing, starting with this one.

Like any good and realistic love story, there were significant challenges to overcome. While we frolicked through the fall leaves and winter snow in my visits from California, we had to talk through some serious issues. Whether it was discussing and working through hurts and mistakes from our pasts, to thinking and praying through logistics of how to make a cross-country relationship work, it was going to take 100% effort, determination and commitment.

As the calendar flipped from 2013 to 2014, we made a pact that we have kept to this day, and it will be etched in eternity on October 8th. Sarah-Jane needed assurance from me that I would do whatever it takes, that I would stand by her side no matter the challenge, and I would love her no matter the cost. As the man, I knew it was my duty to protect her heart, life, body, mind and spirit. I knew her need for assurance was my responsibility. But it has to be more than words. It must be backed up with actions. Actions that were, and often still are uncomfortable. Actions that cause me to face my biggest fears. Actions that, by facing them and being open about them, liberate me from the bondage of fear.

So, on January 1, 2014, like any mature adults, we sat at her kitchen table, curled our pinkies together, looked into each other’s eyes, and simply said, “no matter what.” We even captured the moment with this picture.

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Since that day, “no matter what” has been our rallying point. When either of us says these three simple words, it calibrates our hearts and reminds us of what God has done, is doing, and will do because we have kept Him at the center. We believed then, as we do now, that He was the one who crossed the paths of a guy in Rocklin, California with a girl in Pascoag, Rhode Island. We knew then that it wouldn’t be easy. Fortunately, we didn’t know at the time how difficult the challenges would be. But we promised one another that no matter what the mirror says, the scale, the bank account, the doctor, the opinions of others…we will stick together. When we aren’t physically together, we often text each other the equivalent of the pinky swear, “NMW”.

What an honor it is to be given the responsibility by God to love and protect another human life. In my case, several human lives as I will also be blessed with her sons, Christian and Jeremy.

Father, as we promised each other on January 1, 2014, and as we will publicly and solemnly profess on October 8, 2016, I will love, honor and protect the lives with which you have assigned me stewardship. No matter the cost, no matter the difficulty.

No matter what.

One year

August 5, 2015, my dad went home to be with Jesus. One year ago this evening, while I was on the phone with my brother Matt, Dad entered into his rest, his reward; the presence of God.

IMG_5451I have written many posts about my dad through the years. Most often on his birthday. He was a man’s man. Born October 30, 1935, Dad grew up during the Great Depression. He began working as a boy, then lied about his age in order to join the Marines in the 1950s. After he was discharged, he worked for Pacific Gas and Electric, the utility company in California. But his heart wasn’t made for this profession. He was made to do more. He was designed to serve. He entered the police academy in order to become a member of the San Francisco police force.

Dad served honorably for over two decades, earning many medals of honor, including multiple gold medals, which are most often given to the widows of fallen officers . Starting as a uniformed cop on the beat, to the juvenile division, narcotics, and ultimately as member of what was then a brand new division, the bomb squad. This was not long after a domestic terror organization, the Weather Underground, bombed a SFPD station in 1970. I remember him telling me the story of how he ran up several flights of stairs to submit his request to be part of this elite new squad. As he arrived, out of panting heavily from his sprint, they looked at him as if he had three heads.

“Why are you out of breath?”

“I wanted to beat the rush for this opportunity.”

“Rush? For the bomb squad? Nobody wants to be part of this.”

That was my dad. The greater the danger, the greater the opportunity to serve the greater number of people. He was always willing to put himself in harm’s way in order to protect others.

In 1982, at the age of 47, Dad led his family by example in giving his heart to Jesus and asking Him to be Lord of his life. He was not a man who was desperate. You’ve heard the saying, “there are no atheists in foxholes.” That wasn’t my dad. He wasn’t in crisis. In fact, he wasn’t even seeking God.

God was seeking Dad.

In a personal encounter on a Saturday afternoon in our garage Dad had turned into a wood shop, God spoke to my dad’s heart. Dad was flipping stations on his radio several times throughout the course of the day, and repeatedly landed on a Christian station that featured recorded sermons from a variety of pastors. As the day went on, he’d listen for a few minutes here and there. Each time, he heard a brief message from different speakers. The only consistency in these messages was they were each speaking on salvation and our need to ask Jesus into our hearts. After several hours and various speakers, Dad turned off his power saw out of fear that his trembling hands would cause an accident. He walked out of the garage, through the kitchen past my mom, and proceeded to their bedroom. There, he closed the door, fell on his knees, and asked Jesus to come into his heart and change him.

God did.

My dad became a sold out man of God. Some years later, Dad retired from the police department so he could give himself to whatever God had for him in ministry. Before he did, Dad had become part of a prison ministry where he spoke intimately with hardened criminals in San Quentin. Not a ministry and venue you’d expect to see a cop. But that’s what God said, and that’s what Dad did.

I’m not trying to write a complete biography, just give you a thumbnail sketch of the kind of man my Dad was. He was a Marine and a cop. But what defined him and what was most precious to him was being a servant of Christ. Long before my Dad submitted his life to the Lord, God had been preparing my father for ministry by giving him a heart for service. Willing to go to the dark places in order to bring the light of Jesus. Whether it was being in a locked prison cell with a convicted felon, or selling all they had to move to Costa Rica in obedience and service to God so that he and my mom could minister to people. My dad was a servant.

I miss him every day, but his influence in my life lives on today. His impact in the lives of hundreds, even thousands of people throughout his life lives on. God used him beautifully and powerfully. As I am two months away from being a husband and step father, I pray I can be half the influence in the lives of my family as he was to his.

His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!

Matthew 25:21

 

Easter 2014

Disclaimer: What I’m about to share is my story. My purpose is not to denigrate a church or denomination. It is simply my experience and observation as it relates to my spiritual awakening.

I was raised Catholic. Even so, that was more a rite of passage than a lifestyle. My parents were Catholic. Their parents were Catholic, and so on, and so on. I went through the different practices as I grew up. First Communion, Confirmation. A typical Sunday involved me waking up, getting ready and walking to church by myself. I went in, God took roll, I sat down, stood up and kneeled when everyone else did, then left at the end. The mass could have been in Swahili for all I took with me from the 60 minute experience.

Fast forward to when I was 18 years old. I was in the latter stages of my senior year in high school. My parents had embarked on their own spiritual journey nearly a year earlier. In the latter days of 1982, my parents had “accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior”, whatever that means. Then, they turned their focus on getting me to go to a Protestant church. It was complete culture shock.

Without going into great detail, for the sake of brevity, it was April 4, 1983 when I quietly empty_tomband privately committed my desire and intention to have a relationship with God. It was the day after Easter. For the first time in my life, at least in a manner that stuck in my heart, I realized that Jesus wasn’t a statue or stained glass window mounted to a cross. He wasn’t a chain around a neck. In His death, He took upon Him my sin. As a Catholic, pretty much in name only, all I ever observed or knew about was His death. There is nothing wrong with that, except that’s not where the story ends.

It was about an empty tomb.

Jesus left behind His grave wrappings, and brought with Him my redemption for my sin. I never really knew that.

Easter is precious to me. It wasn’t just the death and resurrection of Jesus, but my own death and resurrection. My sins were nailed to the cross. His blood was shed as He quietly  accepted His fate in order to secure mine. Love isn’t love until there is sacrifice. Life is the result of sacrifice. Love is forged and purified in sacrifice. He did that for me.

He did that for you.

I want a faith like that

This morning, I felt a certain urgency to receive a specific word from God. Some people read horoscopes, some seek encouragement and direction from fortune cookies. For me, when I “randomly” open my bible or teaching from a trusted source of godly wisdom, and the word I receive feels like it should have been preceded with the words, “Dear Corey”, I know God has simply been waiting for me to stop and listen.

This morning was one of those moments.

I took a moment to open up Oswald Chambers’ My Utmost for His Highest. Today’s installment was about a life of faith, specifically referencing the life of Abraham. In it, he said the following:

Living a life of faith means never knowing where you are being led. But it does mean loving and knowing the One who is leading. It is literally a life of faith, not of understanding and reason—a life of knowing Him who calls us to go. Faith is rooted in the knowledge of a Person, and one of the biggest traps we fall into is the belief that if we have faith, God will surely lead us to success in the world.

I sure don’t consider myself to be anything like Abraham. However, I do feel like my life has Life-of-Faithbeen something of an odyssey that has required a certain measure of faith. Where my life is at this very moment is no exception.

The final sentence in the paragraph above is the fine print that causes us to reconsider such an endeavor. To me, the key word is “surely”. I don’t think Mr. Chambers is saying we will not have success. It’s that it is more important that we achieve success by God’s measure, not how our culture has defined it.

God is concerned with our success. He is invested in us. It is not His will that we are homeless and destitute “in Jesus’ name”. He is glorified in our lives when we are willing to let Him direct us, even if it means He takes us in a direction that contradicts our logic and comfort. He is glorified when we trust that He will see us through the challenges that confront us that are bigger than our ability to resolve. We trust Him when we know His strength and character. We experience his strength and character when we trust Him.

No matter how big my challenge, my God is bigger.

Ch ch ch changes

In late August of 2008, I felt the winds of change coming. At the time, I was living in San Jose, California. I had been there for 12 years, and loved it. I was part of a wonderful church, very active in ministry there, had the most wonderful friends I’ve ever had, and lived in a world class city with so much to do and enjoy. David-Jakes-on-Change-2.jpg.scaled.1000-400x533

But I knew God was sending me off into a new direction. I could have stayed where I was and been happy. But I felt God was calling me to the Sacramento area, for reasons I didn’t know. All I knew was that in following His direction, I would grow and mature in ways I wouldn’t experience by staying comfortable in San Jose.

Not to rehash stuff I’ve written before, but for the benefit of those who may be new to Crossing Paths, my first six months in Sacramento were among the most difficult of my life. I had been laid off from three jobs in those six months. The third of which came the day after my mom’s funeral. I seriously questioned why God would take me from where I felt at home and useful, to a place that seemed to be kicking me out of everything I did.

Now, five and a half years later, the winds are blowing again. In what will be no surprise to many of you who have been following the events of the last six months of my life, I am moving to New England.

In my head, the plan was that, if I were to move, it would most likely be summer, at the earliest.

But God has His own plan.

After the early professional frustrations in Sacramento, I started my own business. Building a clientele was a very slow process. Through a series of connections made through my clients, I ended up landing an association with a firm with offices in 29 states, in 80 cities around the country. When I began toying with the idea of New England, I checked out their website. No offices in the New England area.

Then, in late January, one of the attorneys in the Sacramento office asked me where Sarah-Jane lives. I explained to her where she lives in relation to Boston, the largest and most widely-known city in the region. The attorney then said, “well, you know we’re opening an office in Boston, right?”

Uhhh, no, I didn’t.

After more than 20 years in business, this firm chose February 3, 2014 to open an office in Boston. I happened to know and have a good working relationship with THE right person in the company. The one who makes the decisions on vendors for their offices around the United States. So, with one phone call, I landed the Boston office.

Without a doubt, God’s favor and blessings are working together. I don’t expect things to be easy. And other than the phone call that secured the Boston office, nothing has been easy.

By the time this entry is posted, I will be on the road toward Boston. The drive will be some 3,000 miles, and over four days. The weather will probably be challenging. There is much I’m leaving in the rear view mirror. But much lies ahead. I have been on the road of faith before. The entire experience of getting from California to New England is a metaphor for life. I don’t know how to get there, specifically. I’ll have to rely on a source to guide me to my destination. There will likely be storms and obstacles along the way. After the first two hours or so, none of what I see will be familiar to me. I will have to be smart with decisions, but also exercise some blind faith.

I will try to post updates along the way. In the meantime, your prayers are greatly appreciated!

Proactive waiting

I know it has been several weeks since I’ve last posted anything. Soon, and in due time, you will understand why.

Suffice it to say, life has been a bit crazy in the past few weeks. I will explain more soon. In the meantime, know that things are good, and your prayers are greatly appreciated. I look forward to sharing with you what God has been doing. Heck, I look forward to seeing what God still has yet to do!

There are times when we thing that silence means nothing is happening. Maybe you’re in a period where it seems God is silent, and your life is in a holding pattern. Rest assured that God has His hard hat on, and is active in your life. It’s a good time to put your hard hat on, as well. When God begins to unveil what He’s been working on, the time you spent in preparation will help you take the next glorious steps.

Remain faithful. Remain diligent. Keep looking forward. This is what I call, “proactive waiting”. One day, God will begin to reveal things to you that will put your life in motion in an exciting way.

Stay tuned!

A new voice

About a week or so ago, I received an email from a lady in the choir of my former church near where I live. As you may know, singing has been a big part of my life going back to when I was 19 years old. But within the last couple years, my opportunities to sing were decreasing, and with them, so was my desire. My friend from the choir was reaching out, inviting me to come back to sing. It was very nice and sincere, but there was nothing in me that felt any desire to return.

I took a couple days to really ponder my response. To do so, I had to truly examine myself and where I am in my life these days. I had some legitimate frustrations that led to my decision to stop singing publicly. But now, a good year and a half later, I want to be sure that my reason today isn’t rooted in bitterness.

As I contemplated my feelings and attitude, I am really at peace. I loved singing. I still do it from time to time while in my car. I have some songs that are special to me on my iPod on a special playlist. They are background tracks so I can just sing the songs my own way.

But it’s just for my audience of One.

As I crafted my email response, I wanted to focus on where I am today, and where I’m headed in life. It’s not about what I did for all those years. It’s about what is ahead of me. I am not a songwriter. As such, when I sing, I’m communicating the words, inspiration and experiences of other people. Now, I feel more liberty and fulfillment in communicating my own words. In a way, God is giving me a new voice.

There are simply times in our lives when we need to hit the reset button. I don’t feel as if I’m reinventing myself. I’m simply tapping into an area that was largely overshadowed by other things. It’s a little weird calling this my “new voice”, being that this post is literally my 400th on Crossing Paths. But I do feel a surge of energy and new significance in writing.

I don’t have any idea to what extent my focus on writing will go, for how long, or how often. What I do know is that it’s not unlike God to take us in new directions in later stages of our lives. My parents were a great example of that. When I was growing up, they had always threatened to move to another country to get away from me. Of course, in jest. (Or was it?) But several years after my dad retired, they made good on their promise. But it wasn’t to get away from anything or anyone. It was to follow a new path, led by God.

New things are on the horizon in my life. Maybe they are in yours, as well. Maybe you don’tfind-your-voice even yet know about it. Or maybe you have some hidden talent or desire that you’ve been putting off. Whatever it is, what are you waiting for? I don’t know about you, but the past couple weeks have brought me painful reminders that life is short and unpredictable. Whatever it is, put your touch on it. It’s your voice. Don’t try to be someone else. Do what you do in a way only you can do it!