I hate that I need grace

Life can be so overwhelmingly humbling. When that happens, it seems as if bad news comes from every direction. It’s relentless. How much easier life would be if I were never in need of grace. Whether that’s God’s grace, or grace in human relationships.

One thing I have learned throughout my adult life as a Christian; God is not concerned with my comfort zone. That’s not to say He’s not interested in my comfort. It’s just that He doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He allows troubles to come into my life. Not because He hates me, but because He loves me.

If you’re a parent, how does it make you feel when your child(ren) approach you when they are hurting? Life is heavy and complicated. They take time to sit down with you, pour out their heart, and just take time to listen to you. God is no different. When life gets heavy and too much for me to bear, He wants me to come to Him. He wants me to pour it all out to Him.

The thing about grace is that you must be humble to receive it. If you have a sense of entitlement, you’re not going to receive it. Being self sufficient is great. It’s wonderful. But my life is meant to be Goddependent. Even when I have the means to get through any problem, He wants me to depend on Him. He wants me to seek Him. His wisdom. His direction. Even ways that seem right to me, He may have another plan.

One thing I have learned is that the presence of troubles does not mean the absence of Sometimes-the-Lord-calms-the-storm.-Sometimes-he-lets-the-storm-rage-and-calms-his-cihld.God’s love and favor. It doesn’t mean we’re doomed or cursed. God’s glory is revealed in us when we trust Him. When He enables and empowers us to survive beyond what we think our breaking point is, He is glorified. When we overcome, through His power and grace, He is magnified.

I want you to know I’m not writing this because I have attained this. Not even close. I’m writing this for myself. I don’t expect this is for anyone but me. I know the answers lie within me. I have to put them out there like this, as if I were giving advice and a pep talk to someone else.

I can’t do this on my own. I end at the water’s edge. God lives not only on the shore, but in the stormy waters. He is calling me to reach out trust Him. I am human. I am flawed. Where I end, He begins. I can get so much further when I rely on Him than being self sufficient.

How I love that I need grace.

 

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