The past is prologue

Some of you have known me a long time, some of you are brand new to my life. Others of you may only know me through Crossing Paths. In any case, welcome!

I created Crossing Paths in July of 2008. What inspired it was the fact that I was moving snoopy-writingfrom a city, church and friends that I loved very much. I named this Crossing Paths because I wanted this technological venue to be a place where our paths could always cross, even when our roads may be far apart. There is also some intended double meaning, as the cross represents God’s ultimate love and sacrifice for us, and He is constantly giving us life lessons that bring us closer to Him, bringing our paths together with His. That has always been my aim with my posts.

I am a lifelong single man. In this day and age. that typically generates a myriad of questions ranging from my sexual orientation to my desire or ability to commit to a relationship. I understand those questions. They don’t offend me. Maybe at one time they did, but I’ve never been shy to share why I’ve remained single.

Don’t be mistaken. I’ve dreamt of being married, having kids and a family throughout my adult life. During my early to mid 20s, I was really exploring life. I went to college, I traveled in a Christian band, ministering in churches, schools, prisons, Indian reservations, on television and radio, and youth camps. I worked in Christian radio and banks. I volunteered with youth groups, as well as actively participated in leading worship. As I started to near 30 years old, I really began to explore what I hoped would be the next phase of my life. Being a husband, and hopefully, a father.

I watched videos, listened to tapes, read books. I studied the marriages and lives of my friends. I learned from the successes and failures that happened around me. I had relationships, but obviously, none of them led to marriage. I know I could have gotten married if I were wiling to go with the crowd and settle. But I chose to live by the motto, “I’d rather be single than wish I were.”

I have absolutely nothing against anyone I ever dated. Breakups are never easy. Even the smoothest of breakups are, at best, awkward. Sure, you could call them failures, but I see each of them as experiences that revealed who I am, who I want to be, and who I don’t want to be. As Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that don’t work.”

God makes each of us unique. We may have similarities, but we have vast differences. Our experiences will shape us, one way or the other. The important thing is to remain true to who you are, while using the lessons from the “failures” as bricks in a stronger foundation for our character.

There have been times, even recently, when I have about given up. When it seemed my best days were behind me. Humans can only take so much rejection and failure. Am I just too difficult to live with? Are my hopes and expectations too high? Am I too this and not enough that? Have I failed God? Am I going to be alone the rest of my life?

Reaching the end of ourselves is where God is just beginning.

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