As a lifelong single guy, and as a man of faith and family values, I simply cannot find any level of understanding of the person who seems solely motivated by bringing misery to the lives of people they once loved. I have seen the emotional, spiritual and even physical rubble they leave in their wake, like a debris field left behind by a devastating tornado.
When I was in college, I’d return to my dorm room in the afternoons after class to lie down on my bed to relax a bit. For a little background noise, I’d turn on my 13 inch black and white TV. It was only able to pull in one station, so that meant I was resting to the melodramatic tales of the Brady and Horton families on Days of Our Lives. I was often bemused by the fact that the shows villains, most notoriously Victor Kiriakis and Stefano DiMera, had unlimited wealth…and apparently time, to obsess on ruining the lives of everyone in town. What was entertaining to some, apparently, is so sadly the tragic reality to so many.
I’m not so surprised that there are people out there who are like this. I’m surprised by how many there are! Throughout my adult life, I have heard story after story of people, men and women, who have such hatred in their hearts that they literally seek out ways to ruin the days of the lives of those they once loved. They have no regard for the collateral damage they leave in their wake. They have no concern for destroying friendships. They don’t care about using others in their evil plans. They even use their children and parents as shields behind whom they hide.
I know some of you are yelling at your computer screens right now trying desperately to tell me there are always two sides to every story.
But under no circumstances are these actions appropriate. As a Christian, this is easy to substantiate by referencing the bible as a standard. But even those who shun God, Christianity or any other faith, it simply is unacceptable human behavior to methodically dismantle the lives of others. Ruining someone’s day does not add a single thing to the life of the miserable. They’re not satisfied. They’re not happy. They’re still miserable. All they’ve done is simply added another despicable act to their resumé.
These people don’t understand why they’re miserable, and astonishingly, don’t understand why they never find true happiness. If they were to look back at their lives, they would see a pattern of broken relationships. They would be able to see the rubble they’ve left behind on their path to today. It’s not uncommon for them to pick up and leave a place to “start over” in another. But one thing remains the same.
Tragically, miserable people will remain so no matter where they go, what they’re doing, or who they’re with. Miserable people are always out to serve themselves. They’re not looking for happiness as much as they’re looking to serve their own best interests, no matter who it hurts, or to what degree. The only way miserable people will ever overcome their condition is to do what, to them, is unthinkable. They must allow themselves to serve something bigger than themselves. Miserable people have an over inflated view of themselves. The key to their freedom is in gaining a proper perspective of themselves.
We are all children of the most high God. Even miserable people are precious in His sight. If you know someone who is like this, pray for them. Be careful not to get caught up in their web of deceit. Be cautious not to be manipulated and used. Exercise wisdom and tough love. Perhaps God wants to use you, perhaps He wants you to simply pray for them from a distance.
Whatever you do, don’t let their misery become your misery.