Tough Memories

This past weekend marked the one year anniversary of the official word of my mom’s cancer and its severity. I wasn’t trying to remember it. In fact, I had to go back and look to confirm it because I thought to myself it was around this time last year. Turned out it was exactly this time last year. 

I found myself feeling pretty melancholy this weekend. I didn’t expect it, but I was. Memories are really powerful. They’re not only mental, but emotional. I was transported back to my mom’s hospital room when the word came. I could picture her. I could remember the awful feeling in my gut when the news was delivered. I remember all the thoughts that rolled through my mind as what I’ve only seen happen to others was now happening in my family. 

My mom lived another five weeks after we received word. I expect that the next month or so will be flooded with bittersweet memories. I may not see some of them coming. Others will be as predictable as the sunrise.

Today is Monday. It’s a new week, and life moves on. 

I’m looking forward to what God has in store. I don’t know what it is, but I’m confident that I am not alone. There are times when I sure feel alone, but God is faithful to remind me that I’m anything but. I had a special time with very dear friends last Thursday. Yesterday was a fantastic day at church. I received words of comfort and care during the weekend. Wednesday night is Man Cave where I’ll get to lead worship before hundreds of men, doing what I love doing. This week, I’ll spend time right here sharing my life lessons.

Life moves forward. Memories can paralyze us when we dwell on them. They can also propel us through the present and into the future. I spent a day this weekend in solitude thinking about things. Now it’s time to move forward. Tough days are ahead, but dotting the road are gifts from God. It would be easy to dwell on what I don’t have, but I will fight the urge and choose instead to focus on the fact that I am a friend of God, and He calls me friend!

I do not expect that I’m the only one with a heavy heart. There is a time for solemnity. There is an appropriate time to sit in quiet remembrance. But it’s important to continue to live. It’s important to use this day of life which has been gracefully extended to us. 

This is the day the LORD has made;
       let us rejoice and be glad in it.  

~Psalm 118:24

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