As I begin writing this, I really don’t know where this is going to go. For some reason, these two words are ringing in my heart.
I have a philosophy that you can tell a lot about a person by the people who voluntarily love them. These are the people who are not bound to us by familial bounds. These are people who have no obligation to love us. They just do.
I have been blessed in my life to have the love of some amazing people I admire. People I respect tremendously. I am so humbled when I consider the fact that they pick up the phone and call, or respond to my emails and text messages. These are people who are actually fine with being identified with me.
There are times when I feel so unlovely. When I feel so unlovable. In many cases, such as this period in my life when, for the most part, the people who have been there for me can’t be there for me due to proximity or just stuff happening in their own lives. Sometimes I get to the point where I feel alone. Abandoned.
But then, even when I’m feeling at my lowest, God doesn’t fold His arms, shake His head and walk away. Instead, He picks me up and cradles me in His arms. The very hands which flung the stars into place, comfort and shelter me. The very voice which spoke the world into existence, gently and lovingly speaks my name and says He loves me.
I’m indebted to a degree I can never repay. When a friend does me a favor, I want to repay them double what they gave me. In reality, there is nothing I can do to amount to a single grain of sand in comparison to what God has done, and continues to do for me. Yet He doesn’t sit there with some ledger counting up what I have paid or what I still owe. He doesn’t evaluate me by my credit score. He does not look at me the way people do.
I’ve had difficult times. I’ve had wonderful times. Through it all, I love the Lord unconditionally. However, I don’t always act lovingly. He does. I’m humbled by His love for me.
There is nothing I can do today to repay Him. He doesn’t require or demand that I do. I’m just going to do my very best today to love Him and to share what He’s given me to someone else who needs those same hands and that same voice to comfort and love them.
I think I can do that.