The need for transparency

In reviewing my most recent posts, it seems clear that I’m currently in a very introspective phase. Who knows? It may not last beyond today, it may carry on for a while longer.

I’m a mystery.

Perhaps some of this stuff would be better suited for a private journal. But I tend to think that perhaps by sharing with you stuff that is on my heart, stuff that I’ve gone through…maybe you can get a better idea about the person you know in me. Or maybe you can relate and be encouraged that you’re not alone. Or maybe you know someone who might be able to relate and benefit from someone else’s experiences.

I am not one who takes myself too seriously. Anyone who knows me knows that I love to joke around. I am a pretty laid back kind of guy. But underneath is a deep thinker and feeler. I am constantly on the lookout for moments of inspiration. I love to observe life and take the good and bad from it in order to learn a lesson, and maybe even help someone else learn from it as well.

I have received many private comments from friends who appreciate my writing. That’s always good to know because I’m pretty much just brain-dumping onto my computer screen. Half the time I have no idea if what I’ve written will make sense to others, or if it’s just for my own personal benefit.

I pretty much trust my instincts of what is appropriate to share, and what might be better left between God and me. At some point, maybe those private monologues can be made public if the situation were right. Then again…maybe not. In any case, what I write here is cathartic for me. It’s usually pretty raw in that I’m digging deeply into my heart and mind and sharing it with anyone who happens to stop by. That’s a little unnerving at face value, but also it’s a little exciting.

Sometimes I’m too honest, too soon. I’m working on that. As I was explaining to a friend recently, I am sometimes like a puppy running full speed down hill. Sure, it’s fun feeling the wind in my hair, but I might just be on the verge of wiping out and rolling end-over-end to the bottom of the hill. Hey, some people strap boards to the bottom of their feet and speed down snowy mountains. I do this. They may have a better view, but I haven’t yet broken any bones doing it my way.

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